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Its been ages since I posted something here, I have been busy and now I dont know what to write. But anyway my life so far has been just spent at Uni, I have been working on some group projects since December till today, and just my luck I have been placed in a group whereby two of the members dont do anything, so the rest of us had to do extra work just to cover their parts. And since then, I've been having sleepless nights just becoz of work and other things.
My mother just said how 'stressed' I look, and that I should sleep and relax. I dont understand it, im trynna explain that if I want to pass I have to do the work at night coz I have other stuff to do, but I dont know.

Eid and New years just came and went. I didnt do anything exciting, but then again I dont celebrate new years, and for eid, I think its only fun if your a child. I went out with friends but then it just felt like a normal night that we usually go out. I feel that celebrating new years or birthdays is like celebrating getting a certificate from school saying you have achieved 100% attendance. People think I'm weired but its true why celebrate a new year? or a birthday? So what, your a year older, I mean you didnt achieve anything to celebrate. Maybe if you wanted on your birthday, thank your mother for giving birth to you, pray and thank Allah for giving you life, but going out and feeling excited and getting presents its just silly. I read somewhere that Ali, the Kalifa said "why celebrate a life that gets shorter?"..I think this is so true, every breath we take, physically ages us, and makes you get nearer to death, so why on earth would someone feel the need to celebrate this. New years si the same, your celebrating a new year, okay cool...Maybe I am weired or I dont know, but the only thing I celebrate is Eid, and achievements I do or good fortune that comes my way. People still give me presents for my birthday, and I only take it coz you know, its rude to refuse gifts!...

I have discovered a new rapper, I dont usually listen to hip hop or r 'n' b anymore, coz really its just commercial music that repeats the same thing over and over again. I prefer indie or old skool rock or 1960's pop, yeah im sot of a hippie. But there is this rapper called IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE, and he has to be the best rapper ever, even better than the 2 pac and biggie ppl say r great.
If you have a chance, listen to his lyrics or just read them.. I think he is Muslim, but he is from Latin America and he is very very political, he seems to be challenging all the accepted facts in life, especially politics.
I dont usually like seeing live acts, but I would give anything just to see and speak to him. Actually there are 3 'celebrities' i would do anything to meet, that included immoprtal technique, maya angelou and Napolean, the rapper turned muslim from the outlaws. I dont know why, but I LOVE black american men that convert to Islam. My mother gets scared when ever I say this, shes like, " erm errm waxa kuu fiican inaad..(ok ill give up I cant write Somali!), but she basically says its better if you get married to a Somali man, coz then you can "understand" each other, and plz dont bring an ajinabi in my house. I dont know why Somali ppl dont like their daughters marrying men who are not Somali. I know a girl, whose family disowned her coz she married a white guy even tho he is Muslim, they dont even speak to her anymore. Its just sad, coz that guy is a million times better than any Somali guy she could have had. Anyways thats another story.

I guess thats all I'll write for now, Inshallah I hope Allah accepts my duca, there has been something in my life that has been hurting me since I was 13, and Ive been dying for this to go away. You know when ppl, see you, and they think something of you, but they really dont know how f'ed up your life is, and you wish you could give away ALL of the things ppl admire of you just so you could get that natural 'thing' many ppl seem to have, I know many ppl are worse off than me and that I am better off than millions of ppl.
But Allah, plz, plz, plz, remove this and inshaallah I hope no one ever experiences this like I did..ameen.

okay..ill jst sign off..have a nice day ppl