Ramdon stuff about my life

The past few weeks I havnt been sleeping well, and I'm feeling so tired and dead, sometimes I just wonder why Im doing all this. I think I have some sort of insomnia because I go for periods of sleeping well, then a couple of weeks I only get a couple of hours sleep. I'm a bit scared now, that Im one day gonna wake up and see my face all wrinkly with bags and all that, actually writing this is making me feel sick. You know my greatest fears in Life is being broke, getting wrinkles, physical pain and death. Ever since I was young like 13, I've been on some sort of diets, doing yoga, exercising and using millions of beauty products, facials going to spas. And now I'm like nearly 21 and Im still doing all this, but Ive calmed down on using make up, well apart from mineral organic make-up. My mother is always saying to me how I could have bought a house or car with the money i spend on pampering myself, but dont you think its much better to look good and be broke than have a big house and be not so good looking.

Anyway my routine is like this: I go to the gym everyday for 2 hours, I use organic face cleaners, natural oils on my face and body (jojoba oil, evening primrose oil, castor oil, vitamin E oil and virgin olive oil). I drink 2L of h2o a day, eat all this fruits and 'rabbit food' and once a month chocolate or crisps. I used to put on make-up, but since there is no one to impress now I dont use any, but if I would it would be mineral make up, its like 100% organic. I also take supplements, I think I got enough to keep a small drug store in business for a year lol, but I dont know, I do all this and im still not happy with how I look, AND on top of all this I dont sleep well. I feel like its all going to waste since if you worry and have sleepless nights, your skin would be bad.
Another thing I live in London which is bloody cold all the time, and I read that in cold countries ppl age faster since our skin is constantly vibrating inside to keep warm.
I seem to be spending a lot of time on the London underground and this is some scary journey. I just like watching all the people on the tube, sometimes I just stare at some woman just analysing her face, she probably thinks im nuts but just looking at the women, those that dress nicely/expensively and then you look at their face and see them with bad skin, bags and they are half asleep just makes me pray that I win the lottery or find meself some rich old man, coz I really wish I dont become like them. I mean although they are independent, rich and can buy anything, they always seem tired, sleepy and have wrinkles or bags and I think whats the point?

I swear even though Im doing Engineering, If i find a man thats rich enough like earns over £100K, I'd drop everything and become a house wife. Yes a house wife, that would be my ideal life, living in a hot country married to a rich older man but not old as in wrinkly old, like I dont know 6-10 yrs older, and yeah just staying at home sleeping well, and not working like some freak. And no Im not a gold digger, Im studying and have some money, but ohhh darn it, I cant explain but I'm not a gold digger. Knowing my luck I'd never find a guy like this and yea he has to be Somali, and ummm knowing Somali guys the highest they earn is not close to that, so yeah I guess I'd have to be working, but Inshaallah I'll work as an Engineer in the oil industry, or biochemical industry designing drugs...ooohhhh what fun!